Holidays.

Hello, my human beans.

I am, in fact, alive.

What a shocker.

Sorry I’ve been the equivalent of a digital hermit for the past few days. Possibly weeks. For that, I owe you a lengthy, long-winded apology. Said apology will materialize in the form of a hopefully satisfying blog post, to amend for my sins.

Where to start?

Oh, I know. I’ll start with exactly what I am doing right now. Painting a picture, if you will. If I look to my left I’ll see a window with chestnut blinds allowing me a view of multiple pale yellow buildings, complete with snow-capped roofs and smokeless chimneys. In front of those houses are a grove of trees, some of them with their leaves evergreen and dusted with angel powder, some of them naked and stretching their spindly arms towards the nearly white sky. It’s the kind of sky where it’s almost completely composed of clouds. There’s no sun in sight and yet it’s unnervingly bright. If I look directly in front of me I’ll see, first, a mess of blankets and my backpack, and then beyond that, a fireplace that has not been lit and a TV mounted on the wall. To my right is my father, a water bottle, a little glass table, and an open closet.

Where am I? you inquire.

I am in—

Haha, you really thought I would tell you?

Well, you’re right.

I’m in Colorado, the land of snow and gondolas and altitude sickness. 

Not bad.

With Christmas coming, it’s nice to be surrounded by sky dandruff. Where I’m from, snow doesn’t happen often at all, but there’s something about it that clearly screams “IT’S THE HOLIDAYS! DRAPE ME WITH ALL THE LIGHTS YOU HAVE!” It’s either that or “I’VE SIMPLY DECIDED TO BE VERY COLD TODAY! NO OCCASION!”

I’m quite content with the fact that it is winter break. The glorious intermission between fall and spring semester has provided me, and hundreds of thousands of other students, no doubt, with a well-deserved respite. I can read books endlessly without worrying about other responsibilities. I can take a nap without checking the time every fifteen minutes or so to calculate how much I have left for homework. It’s great.

But what have I been up to lately, other than anticipating Christmas, relaxing, and reading until my eyeballs burn like they’ve been seared in a skillet?

Actually, exactly that.

And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.

A break is meant for rest, after all. After the Olympic hurdles that were midterms, I feel secure in the idea of letting myself do the things I enjoy. That’s the wonderful thing about breaks: I can do whatever my heart yearns for. For example, I feel that I have not been able to indulge in book reading nearly as much as I would have liked to during the school year. Taking as many STEM classes as I have, my brain has been filled with nothing but probability formulas, computer code, and work = Fd. I’ve actually noticed that it’s changed the way my brain works—I’m slower to pick up on subtle hints in literature, and I’ve grown more analytical.

Nothing wrong with being analytical, to be clear. But oh, how I missed my books.

Along comes cold weather and a few weeks off, and I can have them: I can wake up to them, I can eat with them by my side, and I can go to sleep with them in my hands. Once again, I am surrounded by what I love—words. 

These past few days have not gone to waste, even though I haven’t spent them doing “academic” activities. I have been able to, at last, step away—really step away—and breathe. See friends. Shout commentary at movies. Sleep, sleep, sleep.

Also, can we believe that 2020 is coming to a close? Every year we say that: can you believe 2019 is ending? Can you believe 2018 is drawing near? 

“This has been such a long year.”                                                                                                                  “This has been such a short year.”                                                                                                                      “This year was the busiest of my life.”

And the next year we do it all over again. And each time, we are different people: older, wiser, more experienced. Battle-hardened, sadder, maybe a little more hopeful. We change and morph into deeper beings, taught the lessons of time and humanity.

It’s nice, isn’t it? 

The changing of the seasons.

Now that I’ve adequately proven that I am not, in fact, dead, I will go back to my relaxing. Festivities are coming, so keep your head up! Life is good. Snow is pretty. Cake is delicious. Family is warmth. Go bake some cookies and call your sister in college.

Sayonara for now.